Why is it so hard not to be busy?(And why can’t I stop telling people that I am?)

Over the last few years I have been trying to intentionally create a healthier rhythm of life that isn’t just all about ‘to-do lists’ and busyness. I have been trying to simplify things where I can and let go of ‘stuff’ that I no longer need to carry (is this a mid-life thing?) It’s still a work in progress (and I imagine it always will be) but recently I’ve encountered a new and unexpected stumbling block…

Why, after all of the effort I’ve been putting in to intentionally create a little more space to practise better self care and to be more present in the spaces I find myself, do I still find it so hard not to say ‘I’m busy’ when people ask me what I’ve been up to?

Is it that I feel guilty for having carved out that time and space when maybe they haven’t?

Is it that I worry I’ll be judged for not being ‘productive’ enough or maybe be seen to be prioritising myself over other people?

Is it that I’m worried I’ll seem lazy?

Or could it be that I simply don’t have the right language to explain how I’ve filled my week in meaningful and productive ways?

I’m realising it’s not enough just to have healthy boundaries and meaningful routines, it’s also about shaping how I think and talk about them.

How do we normalise having a discussion that is not just about the millions of things that need to be done in a week or the size of our to-do list (which are important conversations to share with people we love to help us process and carry our stuff), but that also include celebrations of self care and simple moments?

How do we frame up our week in our own minds?

Is the language we use for ourselves filled with terms like ‘busy’, ‘stressed’, stretched’, ‘time poor’?

Could we start talking to ourselves differently?

Could we start thinking about our weeks as being ‘productive, meaningful, intentional, healthy and balanced?

Even better still, could we then also engage in conversations with others where we don’t just discuss their ‘had to’ moments but encourage them to celebrate their ‘chose to’ moments?

What a weird and wonderful world that would be …